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FAQ

In a tight custody battle how does a court decide which parents gets custody of the child/ children?
I am not an attorney, but have personal experience with child custody matters. Even though the specific laws vary by state, in the US, the Family Court is primarily concerned with what is in the best interest of the child.Some of the factors taken into consideration in meeting the best interest standard include:The preference of the parents.The preference of the children, if the Court deems the children to be of sufficient age, maturity and understanding to express a preference.The relationship of the children with each of the parents, siblings and any other person who may be a part of the home environment.The mental and physical health of the parties.The stability of the home environment.The willingness and ability of each parent to facilitate a reasonably close and on-going relationship between the children and the other parent.The parents' willingness and ability to communicate with each other in situations pertaining to the children.Additionally, if the parents cannot come to an agreement regarding custody, the Court will often appoint a Guardian Ad Litem, usually a family law attorney, who will perform a thorough investigation including a home study of both parent's places of residence, interviews with the children (depending on age), a review of medical records, school records and anything else deemed necessary to make a determination regarding the "best interest" standard. They will then prepare a report with recommendations. The Court usually relies very heavily on the findings of the GAL.https://www.jud.ct.gov/lawlib/No...
How do you get the court to see your ex as a narcissist in a child custody case?
Why does it matter to you for the judge to see your ex as a narcissist? What do you think the judge will do if he sees your ex as a narcissist? What do you want him to do? What impact will it have on your children if the judge sees your ex as a narcissist? How will it impact your goals for your children? What are your goals for your children?The judge is never going to feel the way you do about your ex, and likely doesn’t care whether your ex is a narcissist or not. The judge is interested in rendering orders that are in the best interest of the children.Hurt feelings, distrust, and fear of what is going to happen create emotional blinders that make us see things and react in ways that are unhelpful to us and our children. That is why we need to repair our mindsets first so that we can see a path to a better future before finalizing a divorce or child custody case.The problem is, we see what we see and our perceptions are our perceptions. We can’t tell when our emotions are getting in the way of what we need to see. That is why even lawyers hire lawyers to help with their own cases. The fact that you need the judge to see the way you see is a hint that the emotional part of your brain might be interfering with the thinking part.The right questions to ask are: “What parenting plan would give my children the best possible future,” and “How can I help the judge decide this is the best parenting plan?” I highly recommend that you find a licensed professional counselor who can help you think past the emotional barriers created by the conflict with your ex so that you can better identify and articulate a plan to achieve your goals.Plano Texas Child Custody Lawyer Preston Park
Child custody with a narcissist: Should you go to court for child custody or try to work things out together outside of court? What are the pros and cons?
Narcissist is your label for the other parent. I doubt that it is a diagnosis by a mental health professional. I would recommend that you stop the labeling.I believe if anything possible settling anything outside the court is always better than doing it in court. Lawyers don’t make their living from amicable custody settlement. If you decide to go to court, sky is the limit in how much you are going to pay for the lawyers. Both you and the other parent. The other con is that it is always better to have a custody schedule that YOU design (together) instead of something that the judge comes up with.I am divorced. And I spent five years fighting the custody battle with my ex because I refuse to be a weekend visitor dad. We started with her having most of the custody time because I tried to do the right thing, and I agreed to move out and give her the time and the house while I set up a new place for myself. She did not want to change it afterwards, hence the five year battle. It cost both of us pretty much everything we had at the beginning. But we have 50–50 now.I am sure that narcissist was one of the labels she used on me back then (or even now). But I think the facts speak for themselves. Since we have 50–50, our communication has never been better. We can start rebuilding our financial life with no lawyer fees. The kids have stability and they have never been better and happier.Unless your ex is dangerous to your kids, I am hoping that you two would work together for your kids so that they have access to both parents. If you want my opinion on the best custody schedule, I can without a doubt recommend you to use the so-called 5–5–2–2 schedule. One parent has the kids for Monday and Tuesday, every week. The other parent has them for Wednesday and Thursday, every week. And you two alternate the three day weekend. Each of you can do and schedule whatever on your own days. It gives stability and predictability to the kids.Put the focus on the kids in your negotiation. Your kids need their mom and dad, both of you.
How does child custody work if one parent needs or wants to move out of the current state? Is it better to let the court know up front of the possibility, or wait until custody is decided?
This is one of the best family law questions I’ve ever seen asked. Thank you for asking this very important, very tricky question. I’ll try to untangle it for you.If the children have lived in the state where they are now for a long time, have a network of family and/or friends there, feel a strong connection to where they live, are doing well there, and would likely find a move to be anything but an improvement in their lives (especially after their parents divorce), then the only way your moving could overcome all that is if you can prove that the children will suffer even worse if they don’t live with you, regardless of where that is. That’s a very high bar to meet.So if you merely want to move but don’t need to move out of state, moving puts you at risk of losing whatever custodial arrangement you have.Bottom line: generally speaking, if you don’t need to move, don’t move.Next question: if you must move, should you notify the court up front, or wait to see what the custody award is?Obviously, if you and your spouse currently exercise joint physical custody and if neither of you is claiming to be the better parent, then the parent who isn’t moving has the advantage, sort of a rebuttable presumption that the kids should stay put. (see above as to why).But what if you and your spouse are fighting over sole custody of the kids, and you have to move? I’ve seen this played both ways, meaning that I’ve seen a parent wait for the final custody award, win (or lose) sole custody of the kids, and then announce, “now I’m moving”, and I’ve seen a parent disclose the impending move before the final custody decision is reached.Frankly, the right thing to do is disclose as soon as you become aware of it, but I’d be lying if I told you that the courts reward and/or don’t punish doing the right thing. If you wait to move until after you are awarded sole custody, you might just get to keep the kids with you when you move, the thought being that because you were deemed the better of the two parents when it comes to physical custody the kids should remain with you when you move. But if it appears that you are moving to distance and alienate the kids from their other parent, the court can and likely will ding you for that. The law does not look favorably upon parents who move to deprive them of contact with the other parent.
Do military members have to pay any fee for leave or fiancee forms?
NOOOOOOO. You are talking to a military romance scammer. I received an email from the US Army that directly answers your question that is pasted below please keep reading.I believe you are the victim of a military Romance Scam whereas the person you are talking to is a foreign national posing as an American Soldier claiming to be stationed overseas on a peacekeeping mission. That's the key to the scam they always claim to be on a peacekeeping mission.Part of their scam is saying that they have no access to their money that their mission is highly dangerous.If your boyfriend girlfriend/future husband/wife is asking you to do the following or has exhibited this behavior, it is a most likely a scam:Moves to private messaging site immediately after meeting you on Facebook or SnapChat or Instagram or some dating or social media site. Often times they delete the site you met them on right after they asked you to move to a more private messaging siteProfesses love to you very quickly & seems to quote poems and song lyrics along with using their own sort of broken language, as they profess their love and devotion quickly. They also showed concern for your health and love for your family.Promises marriage as soon as he/she gets to state for leave that they asked you to pay for.They Requests money (wire transfers) and Amazon, iTune ,Verizon, etc gift cards, for medicine, religious practices, and leaves to come home, internet access, complete job assignments, help sick friend, get him out of trouble, or anything that sounds fishy.The military does prall the soldier needs including food medical Care and transportation for leave. Trust me, I lived it, you are probably being scammed. I am just trying to show you examples that you are most likely being connned.Below is an email response I received after I sent an inquiry to the US government when I discovered I was scammed. I received this wonderful response back with lots of useful links on how to find and report your scammer. And how to learn more about Romance Scams.Right now you can also copy the picture he gave you and do a google image search and you will hopefully see the pictures of the real person he is impersonating. this doesn't always work and take some digging. if you find the real person you can direct message them and alert them that their image is being used for scamming.Good Luck to you and I'm sorry this may be happening to you. please continue reading the government response I received below it's very informative.   You have contacted an email that is monitored by the U.S. Army Criminal Investigation Command. Unfortunately, this is a common concern. We assure you there is never any reason to send money to anyone claiming to be a Soldier online. If you have only spoken with this person online, it is likely they are not a U.S. Soldier at all. If this is a suspected imposter social media profile, we urge you to report it to that platform as soon as possible. Please continue reading for more resources and answers to other frequently asked questions:  How to report an imposter Facebook profile: Caution-https://www.facebook.com/help/16... Caution-https://www.facebook.com/help/16...   Answers to frequently asked questions:  - Soldiers and their loved ones are not charged money so that the Soldier can go on leave.  - Soldiers are not charged money for secure communications or leave.  - Soldiers do not need permission to get married.  - Soldiers emails are in this format: john.doe.mil@mail.mil Caution-mailto: john.doe.mil@mail.mil anything ending in .us or .com is not an official email account.  - Soldiers have medical insurance, which pays for their medical costs when treated at civilian health care facilities worldwide • family and friends do not need to pay their medical expenses.  - Military aircraft are not used to transport Privately Owned Vehicles.  - Army financial offices are not used to help Soldiers buy or sell items of any kind.  - Soldiers deployed to Combat Zones do not need to solicit money from the public to feed or house themselves or their troops.  - Deployed Soldiers do not find large unclaimed sums of money and need your help to get that money out of the country.  Anyone who tells you one of the above-listed conditions/circumstances is true is likely posing as a Soldier and trying to steal money from you.  We would urge you to immediately cease all contact with this individual.  For more information on avoiding online scams and to report this crime, please see the following sites and articles:   This article may help clarify some of the tricks social media scammers try to use to take advantage of people: Caution-https://www.army.mil/article/61432/ Caution-https://www.army.mil/article/61432/   CID advises vigilance against 'romance scams,' scammers impersonating Soldiers  Caution-https://www.army.mil/article/180749 Caution-https://www.army.mil/article/180749   FBI Internet Crime Complaint Center: Caution-http://www.ic3.gov/default.aspx Caution-http://www.ic3.gov/default.aspx   U.S. Army investigators warn public against romance scams: Caution-https://www.army.mil/article/130... Caution-https://www.army.mil/article/130...   DOD warns troops, families to be cybercrime smart -Caution-http://www.army.mil/article/1450... Caution-http://www.army.mil/article/1450...   Use caution with social networking  Caution-https://www.army.mil/article/146... Caution-https://www.army.mil/article/146...    Please see our frequently asked questions section under scams and legal issues. Caution-http://www.army.mil/faq/ Caution-http://www.army.mil/faq/ or visit Caution-http://www.cid.army.mil/ Caution-http://www.cid.army.mil/ .  The challenge with most scams is determining if an individual is a legitimate member of the US Army. Based on the Privacy Act of 1974, we cannot prthis information. If concerned about a scam you may contact the Better Business Bureau (if it involves a solicitation for money), or local law enforcement. If you're involved in a Facebook or dating site scam, you are free to contact us direct, (571) 305-4056.   If you have a social security number, you can find information about Soldiers online at Caution-https://www.dmdc.osd.mil/appj/sc... Caution-https://www.dmdc.osd.mil/appj/sc... . While this is a free search, it does not help you locate a retiree, but it can tell you if the Soldier is active duty or not.  If more information is needed such as current duty station or location, you can contact the Commander Soldier's Records Data Center (SRDC) by phone or mail and they will help you locate individuals on active duty only, not retirees. There is a fee of $3.50 for businesses to use this service. The check or money order must be made out to the U.S. Treasury. It is not refundable. The address is:  Commander Soldier's Records Data Center (SRDC) 8899 East 56th Street Indianapolis, IN 46249-5301 Phone: 1-866-771-6357  In addition, it is not possible to remove social networking site profiles without legitimate proof of identity theft or a scam. If you suspect fraud on this site, take a screenshot of any advances for money or impersonations and report the account on the social networking platform immediately.  Please submit all information you have on this incident to Caution-www.ic3.gov Caution-http://www.ic3.gov (FBI website, Internet Criminal Complaint Center), immediately stop contact with the scammer (you are potentially providing them more information which can be used to scam you), and learn how to protect yourself against these scams at Caution-http://www.ftc.gov Caution-http://www.ftc.gov (Federal Trade Commission's website)
How does a narcissist handle being in court as a party to divorce/child custody proceedings?
Badly. My ex husband fired a lawyer in court because he couldn’t keep quiet. Then after yet another court date, he couldn’t offer a decent explanation as to why he didn’t support his children. He screamed at the judge “you can’t do this to me! I’m an officer-we’re on the same sides!” (Or something like that-I can’t remember the exact words). He spent a lot of time in traffic court and criminal court with the judge in his side. Now, in family court, he expected the same thing. The family court judge only wanted to make sure the children were provided for. She ordered the bailiff to stand over him from behind to keep him quiet and in his seat. He was in shock that he had to pay child support, then pay me additional money because I proved I had to borrow money from my family. He took the mortgage money he didn’t pay for the house and bought a sexy sports car. He saw nothing wrong with any of it. The money I got I was able to pay back my family and buy his children clothes for the first time in two years.What sickened me was a few months before we broke up he went on a $3000 shopping spree-for himself. Shorts, jeans, a $200 jacket, an expensive bathrobe. But nothing for the kids. I asked him “did you get your children anything? Socks, underwear, a ball?” He didn’t answer me. He grabbed up his bags and yelled “you’re spoiling my fun.” I had a bad feeling that things were going to get worse, and they did.
Can you get a court appointed attorney for child custody?
You don’t say where you live, and that could make a difference, but here in Pennsylvania there is no such thing as a court-appointed lawyer in a custody case. If you are looking for low-cost or free help with the agreement, look for a Legal Aid or Community Legal Services office in your area, or call the city or county bar association where you live and ask them if they can refer you to someone.In some places, including here in PA, when you file a custody case the first thing you have to do is schedule a mediation session with a court-appointed mediator, who is a lawyer or therapist trained in mediation. You and the child’s other parent would go to mediation without counsel, and if you agree to a custody plan in the mediation the mediator would draw up an agreement for you both to sign. And that would be turned into an order. Good luck to you.
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